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It’s easy to gauge this reality on the website Candle for Love (CFL), devoted to helping US Americans bring their loved ones over from China.CFL is like a tidal wave of American men in love with Chinese women, with only a rare American woman/Chinese husband surfacing to break the monotony. Several years ago, when my husband enrolled in a New Oriental class in Shanghai for GRE prep, the instructor warned all of the Chinese men: “If you’re going to study abroad, prepare for four lonely years.” The underlying message was, don’t expect to fall in love — but be pleasantly surprised if it happens.When I’m in China, I tend to turn a lot of heads, especially in the countryside — and that’s not just because I’m a foreigner.It’s because I’m often seen holding hands with my Chinese husband.It’s true — the sight of a foreign woman and Chinese boyfriend or Chinese husband is much rarer than its counterpart, the foreign man and Chinese woman.

And they are all interested in meeting a good western man, a man just like you. A China girl is generally physically attractive, usually slender, often petite, rarely obese, and tends towards being graceful and delicate.

When I feel something strongly, I can’t help but let it show — which is different from John.

Jocelyn is a writer, blogger and the creator of Speaking of China, a blog about love, family and relationships in China, including AMWF love. You can find her writing in The Wall Street Journal, The Huffington Post, the anthologies "How Does One Dress to Buy Dragonfruit? Jocelyn is fluent in Chinese and working on a memoir.

But actually, mine hasn’t really been all that troubling after we married, which is kind of a miracle! presentable), and go into the kitchen.” While this might sound kind of old-fashioned, I’ll still take the compliment!

I know, I know — one of my most popular posts talks about the troubling Chinese mother-in-law relationship. John actually expressed this with a Chinese saying: shàng dé liao tīngtáng, xià dé liao chúfáng (上得了厅堂,下得了厨房), or someone who can “meet guests (i.e. When I returned to China for the second time in 2001 (after a year of teaching English from 1999 to 2000), I actually went alone — something that led my husband to privately dub me a “hero” (which is kind of funny to me! And while I know it sure doesn’t rank highest on the courage-meter, it’s definitely a sweet thing to appreciate.




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