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When I started writing Ask a Guy, I had no idea that it would take off like it has.

I am grateful to have such loyal readers who contribute great questions to me.

But in a day when so much nominalism passes for authentic maturity, give us a few simple marks of spiritual growth that a man or woman should be looking for in a potential spouse.

I think what you are looking for is seriousness about growth in the person’s faith.

And so I think the church really serves and helps Christian singles consider marriage and consider dating.

Within the covenant community of faith, there should be those around a person that can speak of their reputation and whether they are serious about growing in the Lord and putting sin to death in their life. Is there seriousness in this person to grow in their relationship and understanding with the Lord?

Let's say you've asked the right questions and you've been careful about the people you date. Words and phrases like "smothered" and "jealous" come to mind. Do both of you clearly understand why sex outside of marriage is so destructive? If your friends or family complain that they don't see you anymore, your relationship has gotten way too exclusive. Do your best to begin each date knowing how you're going to spend your time together. Do we have a good understanding of what forgiveness means? Holding grudges because you've been wronged kills a relationship.

How would you describe me to someone who doesn’t know me?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Does He Like You” Quiz right now and find out if he likes you… What kind of extra-curricular activities did you do for fun in high school?

Which is better: asking for permission or asking for forgiveness? What would you do if you inherited 1 million dollars tomorrow? What’s the most embarrassing moment of your life so far? Where would you rather live – a big house in the suburbs or a tiny apartment in a great location in the city? If you could have any job in the world, what would it be? Ever have any trouble with the law or get arrested? What do you want to have going on in your life in 5 years, or 10, or 15? Which would you rather be, smart or happy, and why?

One secret Hollywood moguls know is that if they can get 18-year-old males to a movie, it will be a blockbuster. Because those young men will take their girlfriends with them to see it. Most boys will not go and see flicks girls want to see. The guys our daughters date/court/hang-out with wield a tremendous influence. Start with, “Why are you interested in dating my child? If your child’s date seems shiftless, that’s a warning sign.

So dads, how much do you really know about the young man your daughter has a crush on? The basics Be sure to ask for his/her cell phone number, address and the names and phone number of his parents.




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