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It will save both parties a lot of pain down the road. Warren suggests that dating couples should avoid choosing a mate to please someone else.

He writes, "Why would anyone select a marriage partner in order to please someone else?

Each tip is approved by our Editors and created by expert writers so great we call them Gurus.Here at The Hotline, we use the Power & Control Wheel* to describe most accurately what occurs in an abusive relationship.While the inside of the wheel is comprised of subtle, continual behaviors, the outer ring represents physical, visible violence.Falling in love and finding my soul mate was my moon and sun.By believing in this chance of finding true love, I found myself in a string of toxic, controlling, and abusive relationships.Gigi goes home, is up all night, and figures out how much of her life she’d based on thinking that she’d be the exception.I bring this up because I ignored many red flags in the past because of actions I mistook for love, thinking I was the exception, thinking I’d found my love story, when really I’d fallen into a cycle of abuse and power. I personally don’t like looking for or finding them for two very different reasons: First, in looking for them, I feel like I am not giving my potential romantic partner the benefit of the doubt.It includes the use of physical and sexual violence, threats and intimidation, emotional abuse and economic deprivation.Many of these different forms of domestic violence/abuse can be occurring at any one time within the same intimate relationship.One of the most common red flags in a dating relationship is thinking you have to play a role or act like something or someone you are not.So, if you are in a current relationship, ask yourself, "Can I be myself in this relationship or do I have to mask some of my feelings?" If the answer is yes, this relationship is not for you.If you are starting a relationship, be yourself -- without apology -- from the start.The abuser may make mistakes and then blame the victim.The abuser will blame the victim for almost anything that goes wrong.

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